Add Momma To the Train: Porno Review #atozchallenge

The opposite of this,
but less boobs

Add Momma to the Train starring Bruno West, White Mama Church and introducing Dr. Don Slapalot.

3 1/3 out of 5 Thumbs All Up In (***1/3)

****Beware, Thar Be Spoilers****

Summary
Bruno West stars as Mike Hardbone, professional architect and librarian.  Everything is going Mike's way until a chance meeting with a beautiful stranger, White Mama Jones played by White Mama Church, throws his world upside down.  Jones suggests they take a trip north on a train, and they ride the hell out of that train.  At the same time, there's a doctor having sex in a Winnebago.

There are pieces of art, then there are ways to put the audience in the lap of the actors and watch them live and breathe.  Watching Add Momma To the Train, the audience believes they are a part of the train with every shake, twist and gyration.  From the cabins decorated with historical accuracy to the people coming in and out of every shot, the world is made complete.  Only great direction and casting can make such a tour de force push the audience to such climaxes.

The characters form a narrative that if not taken from Shakespeare, should cause The Bard himself to bow his head in subjugation.  From the rich and flowing dialog to the subtle pauses in action, each actor gives it his all to the actress or actresses in every scene.  The transformations in movement as the story progresses rivals the best love stories of all time, kicking the shit out of Romeo and Juliet.

This leads us to the plot.  Oh, sweet sunny Superman, the plot moves as a ballet dancer moves along a tight rope, should that ballerina be a gymnast that really likes ropes.  Just as the story feels like it is going off the rails, something gets railed but good, and twists and turns to land directly where it should be.  Back to front, up to down, left to left to right to left, this goes beyond a character study and becomes an audience study, turning the meta aspect into a deeper penetration of the human soul.  

Only one thing can give pause during every tantalizing moment of this journey.  The fact that this is only a movie, and a pornographic one at that, drops this film down in rating.  Like Icarus flying too close to the sun, this film reaches the depths of the Uncanny Valley and does not pull itself out again.  This film is too close to real life and therefore can not save itself from its own inadequacy of perfection.

Why was it banned?

It's a porn.  There's sex and naked people.  More than the whole of all of Judy Blume's writings combined. Some may also question the religious and evolution inquiries various actresses ask during climactic parts, including dialog such as "Oh, God, yes, my monkey man, do me like that.  Yes. Yes."  Such items may ask questions that parents are not ready to discuss with their children.

Explanation: Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) I will blog using the alphabet as my guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

P.S. April Fool's. Have a great day!

100 Books: Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan

Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The story is centered around five teenagers who plot to kidnap but accidentally kill their English teacher, Mr. Griffin. No real spoiler, it’s the title. The kids attempt to cover their crime throughout the novel, suffering mental and spiritual breakdowns as each of them shows a bit of character.


The actual location of this novel is forgettable at best, helping to boost the tone that this could happen anywhere yet touches of location keep the reader wondering where this is taking place, much like an internet story without a dateline. To keep the novel current, the edition under review has been revised to include such items as cell phones, the Internet and other technology that were not present in 1978. The update damages the novel, almost forcing the questions of “why don’t they just look it up/call their cell?” that would have been evident yet forgiven to modern audiences. Modern audiences are aware, subconsciously or not, that modern conveniences update at a rapid pace and do not expect them in literature/film. This would be like giving the Lone Ranger a car, yet having Tonto still ride a horse. The inclusion is inconsistent and painful to read.

One can forgive the characters their technological follies as they are both bland and compelling, a contradiction that one can blame more on the author than the characters. We are told more about them than we actually see, making this novel a dated edition of the teen genre rather than the more nuanced characters that we see in modern teen fiction (prices and participation may vary). Example: the main villain is said to be a master manipulator, yet the only time we see him really manipulate someone he seems less reasonable and more demanding, an effect of peer pressure rather than his own charisma. The characters are reacting to him from their own past experiences, not from what the reader has seen. If this character was selling drugs, kids from the 80s would be yelling “Just Say No” at him and running away.

The rest of the cast reads the same way, walking through situations much in the same way a character in an after school special soap opera would. To their credit, they all have motives that shift and grow as the novel moves, but have no room to breathe within the narrative. The best I can say is the characters feel real in the way reality television feels real, bland people forced into a narrative that could be compelling if the editor finds just the right moments.

The story structure follows the same frustrating pacing as the characters. Skipping around from person to person, we find the characters forced to react to coincidence and circumstance. Our characters do something, something happens between chapters, our characters react. At times, we get the jarring narrative of someone on the periphery, like the character’s parents, that seems almost filler yet is included to provide character information that should be given by the character’s actions. Running rampant throughout the narrative are large chunks of exposition to scenes that the reader has just read. I almost want to believe this novel was serialized month to month in “Seventeen” magazine by the constant need to update the reader. I think this may be a trend in teen fiction to keep the younger reader present in the narrative, but other writers seem to hide this practice better than this book does.

Overall, this book is more of a character study than a narrative. What would Average Joe Teenager Kid do if he accidentally killed somebody? If this book had been written today, the pitch for it would be “What if the Breakfast Club killed Principal Vernon?” The same type of stereotypes exist (athlete, brain, basket case, princess, criminal) yet are made more real through their reactions to each incident that arises. The problem with the book comes when the reader is told that action rather than having the characters, I dunno, act it out.

Why was it banned?
The main characters kill their teacher. Sure, they do not mean to, but even thinking about kidnapping your teacher is frowned upon in today’s school climate. The usual argument of fighting authority could be applied, as kidnapping/killing your teacher is a rather anti-schoolin message. The kids also drink beer and do drugs, so the PG rating is well earned in that regard.

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Killing Mr. Griffin, Chapter 19: The Truth is Boring #evanreviews

What would happen if Quentin Tarantino took a blow to the head and started writing John Hughes-esque teen fiction? This book, that’s what. Welcome back to Evan Reviews for Chapter 19 of Killing Mr. Griffin. The names have been changed to protect me from getting bored.

So things got a little hot in that last chapter, huh? Duckling was smoking! And who was that unmasked woman? Onward!

******BEWARE THAR BE SPOILERS********

Summary
Duckling's mom barges into her room, announcing that the Snape baby was birthed. Duckling does not respond, so the mother prods her, wondering if Duckling and the reader want to know why Lady Preggo Snape (now just Lady Snape plus Baby Snape) and Det. Gordon saved her from the fire. We get all the information from the previous chapter about kidnapping and investigation, all to the tune of Duckling's indifference. Then we get the bombshell that all the adults are blaming the creepy Rocksteady kid and not our wonderful Duckling! Well, mostly.

The mother then goes into an explanation about Rocksteady's psycology that rivals the last ten minutes of Psycho telling us why Norman liked to dress up as his mom. Then there's some legal mumbo jumbo about how all the kids will be tried in court, leading me to believe they did not get away with it at all. Mom wants Duckling to turn state's evidence against the rest of the Killing Club and get some therapy. Mom leaves, telling Duckling they need new curtains.

Duckling then gets out the assignment she did for Snape at the beginning of the book. Not Preggo returned it to her, because that's what you do with the person who killed your husband. At the bottom of the poem, there's a really nice note from Snape saying he will see her next year and hopes she has a wonderful summer and that they will be besties forever. The author reflects that Duckling can not cry as she puts the book to bed.

Observations
1. Well, that's the end. Other than the usual argument against the exposition dump at the end, this is a well put together chapter wrapping up the story. As I said above, it is very much like the end of Psycho, kinda boring end to a fairly well told story. I would have liked to see the point of view of the other characters, particularily El Guapo, but the view from a broken writer is sometimes the best we get. Stay tuned for the review.

Thank you, this has been today's #evanreviews

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Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins: Book Review

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Summary
After the Hunger Games, Katniss lives a now quiet life, going about her business and never having any trouble again. Just kidding. Every relationship she has is strained as she experiences every symptom of posttraumatic stress that can be imagined. This is all comes to a head when she learns other districts are in revolt. As District 12 comes under more and more pressure from the controlling Capitol, she learns that she will once again be put back into the Hunger Games to fight for her life.


As in the first book, the setting is rich and believable as a dystopian nightmare. Increasing the tension of poverty and governmental control, District 12 becomes a more unbearable and almost suffocating for both the reader and Katniss. As we move to the other districts, the Capitol and the Arena, we get a sense of the wider world and how the games affect not just our hero but everyone.

Speaking of everyone, we get a bunch of new characters from around Panem’s districts. Without giving too much of the plot away, many of the winners from past Hunger Games are introduced, giving the reader a very complex view of what it takes to win in a “there can be only one” scenerio. For the existing characters, more backstory is added to give everyone a more detailed character, such as how Haymitch won his Games and the fallout of that.

The plot of this story is the road to all out rebellion and kicking ass at it. Katniss becomes stronger in her resolve to fight the Capitol control as does the other districts. This resolve comes not only with themes of “what is right” but with sacrifice and honor. A fitting middle chapter, this book not only builds on the original but sets up the next in spectacular fashion.

Why was it banned?
This book has been banned for many of the reasons its predecessor was banned: violence and adult themes. People die, and this book is not afraid to show death and the ramifications that come from it. One could also argue that, like the original, this book encourages dissidence and rebellion from authority. Whether this is true in context or not, developing minds may not understand the difference between an Orwellian government and their math teacher.

View all my reviews

Hunger Games Movie Review

The Hunger Games Starring Jennifer Lawrence, Directed by Gary Ross

If you want to read my full summary and review, check out my book review. It’s really that close to the book. Just to put something here, I’ll give you the notes I took while watching with commentary. 

Because the following does have spoilers, I want to say that I really liked the movie. It stayed true to the character, plot and spirit of the novel. The violence was toned down (not a lot) and some subplots were removed, but nothing casual readers or people who never read the books will miss. 

 I read the book and the movie kicked ass. That never happens to me. Go see this one, you will have fun. Oh, but it is 2hr and 20 min, so don’t get the big soda.

*****Beware, Thar Be Spoilers*****

Opening, well done. I really liked how they set the atmosphere of District 12. They made it feel poor and desperate, almost Great Depression era, but at the same time have hints that this is the future.

Shakey cam. Holy crap, the camera floats like a butterfly, stings like a tracker jacker. Some might need vomit bags.

Gets pin, market A part that deviated from the book, she picks up the trademark mockingjay pin in the black market for some bird meat. It does not hurt the story, but eh..

Good touch, Duck There’s a small moment with Prim at the Reaping that kinda broke my heart.

Casting is awesome Everyone fits the parts well.

This looks like I imagined.

Almost not enough time in the rush to arena I kinda wanted to hang out in District 12 some more and get some character development.

exposition, exposition There’s a lot of talky talky that’s repetitive. But it is over quick and does keep reminding you of stuff that they don’t have time to show. They tell the entire story and give it a great treatment at 2hr 20min.

Took out Avox? Another departure that stuck with me and Katniss in the book but was forgettable enough to leave out.

Careers legal Another departure, apparently the Career Districts have stadiums where the train.

Meeting Peeta The meeting of Peeta and Katniss in flashback is changed slightly... I liked the real way, where he sees her starving then burns the bread and throws it out, but just throwing it out works.

 Scenes with Gamemaker Bigum departure from the book they beef up the role of game maker, taking the POV away from Katniss and into how the games actually are controlled, control room and all. I was a little turned off to be away from our heroine, but this pays off awesomely at the end.

Haymitch not... I never finished the thought, but I always imagined Haymitch as a Falstaff type, a big fat drunk with a sense of humor and a heart marked with tradgedy. Harrelson looks like he could go toe to toe with these kids (and kinda does).

Lenny Kravitz, ernest but likeable I guess he was like Jim Varney... Kravitz is not who I imagined as Cinna, but he works and does a great job. He was not as likeable as I would have wanted that character to be, but filled the role well.

Peeta not very charismatic or big enough. I liked the guy they have doing Peeta, but he is not the leader that is described in the book. He’s the arty guy and won me over but I think there could be better decisions made on how he approaches the character in future movies. Also, you would expect the guy that can throw 100lb sacks of flour to be a little beefier.

Cinna hid pig = book Okay I don’t know what the hell this means. Wait, no, I do. Cinna gives her back the mockingjay pin, not pig, just as she goes in the arena. Again, it tracks for story but there’s not a lot of mention of this item at all to be the symbol of the movie.

Did not set up mutated animals well Every time a new animal came on in the Arena, they cut to Caesar explaining what they were. While this happened a few times in the book, I remember mockingjays, tracker jackers, and nightlock being more Chekhov’s Guns in the narrative.

Cesar and the mines I don’t know what the hell this means. Really.

 

Great Rue POV Um... There’s a moment in the movie where the theatre got really dusty and I couldn’t see because my eyes were watering, but I think this scene was handled with wonderful visual style.

J.L. not singer? Our leading lady does not get the big song and dance number, but that’s okay.

Now Rebellion? There’s a couple of scenes implied in Catching Fire near the end. Spoiler Alert?

She stays pretty. Everyone in this movie has the crap beat out of them, but I guess Jennifer Lawrence was allergic to the dirt makeup or something because she stays fairly clean.)

 

VS

These are from about the same point in the movie.

Game makers omnipotent? The things they can do (forest fires, anmial attacks, etc.) seem to break natural laws. 

  

Action too close. All the fights are Bourne fighting. I was wondering half the time who was winning until everybody calmed down enough to die.

Cato long ass speech. There’s a lot of talking by our bad guys that I must have rushed past in the books.

Katniss meets Snow. The meeting in Catching Fire held some weight. That’s been taken away by this meeting some. Not much, but enough to matter.

So that’s all my notes. Overall, a fun experience. So help me God if any of you start that Team Peeta, Team Gale crap.  I'm Team Katniss and you people better just shut the hell up about your dumbass love triangles before I learn to use a bow and arrow.

All pictures copyright Lionsgate Films, Inc.
http://www.thehungergamesmovie.com

Killing Mr. Griffin, Chapter 18: Come On, Duckling, Light My Fire #evanreviews

What would happen if Quentin Tarantino took a blow to the head and started writing John Hughes-esque teen fiction? This book, that’s what. Welcome back to Evan Reviews for Chapter 18 of Killing Mr. Griffin. The names have been changed to protect me from getting bored.

The poop is contacting the fan as the Killing Club has turned on Duckling. Will she make it out alive? Onward!

******BEWARE THAR BE SPOILERS********

Summary

Rocksteady tells Beebop and Cordelia to tie up Duckling and begins to question Duckling's commitment to Sparkle Motion. Rocksteady calms down Cordelia by slinging some crafted bullscience while Beebop holds Duckling. Cordelia gets a knife, and Rocksteady uses it to cut the cord from some drapes about which Duckling has a weird flashback.

Beebop has a moment of conscience, not wanting to be part of something bad, just part of a hostage situation. He and Rocksteady argue about going along with the plan, driving way the hell out of town with Snape's car, while Duckling is tied up in her house. Rocksteady says that everything's cool, he's gonna make sure Duckling don't say nothing, see. Beebop is a little uneasy about leaving his creepy friend with a tied up girl, but Cordelia convinces him to go with her and leave Rocksteady and Duckling to their business.

Rocksteady starts by opening up the windows and letting in some wind. He and Duckling chitchat about the house fire that killed his father, the same father that was going to have little Rocksteady put in juvenile jail. Duckling attempts to talk Rocksteady into going with her to the cops, but he retorts by setting her damn house on fire, starting with the drapes.

Rocksteady taunts Duckling a bit as the drapes go all flamy, about how the others will go along with him and how his dad was a meany pants. As Rocksteady goes to leave and Duckling decides to take a nap, she sees a man pull Rocksteady out the window and Preggo Snape’s face looking down at her..

Observations

1. Why the hell did we need to know the drape's back story? Is it important that they need to be cleaned a lot? I know this is just to show how disorganized Duckling's mind is, but she's being held hostage by a murder and his two accomplises. Goes without saying she would be a little unhinged.
2. I like the menace Rocksteady gives here. His own backstory coincides with his shitty characterization very well
3. I now have the answer to my first observation. I hope I am the first ever to type the words "Chekhov's Drapes."
4. Rocksteady's taunts give away two things: A) that he has thought about what the others will say and B) he already has plans to blame Beebop and Cordelia.

Thank you, this has been today's #evanreviews

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Killing Mr. Griffin, Chapter 17: Always Go to Church After Killing #evanreviews

What would happen if Quentin Tarantino took a blow to the head and started writing John Hughes-esque teen fiction? This book, that’s what. Welcome back to Evan Reviews for Chapter 17 of Killing Mr. Griffin. The names have been changed to protect me from getting bored.

A car is being painted and it looks like grandma got a visit from the big bad Killing Club. Let's go!

******BEWARE THAR BE SPOILERS********


Summary
Duckling is building a fire and staying home from Sunday church potluck cause all this murder and lying just gave her a case of the blues. As she's scanning stations on the Devil's Picture Box when she runs across a news report about Snape's death. Just as she's about to eat, Beebop and Cordelia ring the doorbell.

The two of them for some reason tell Duckling about how they are going to get rid of Snape's car. Cordelia lets Duckling in on the fact that Cordelia told her mom she was staying at Duckling's house tonight and even though her mom will probably try to call Cordelia's cell phone, heads up. Then they ask if they can use Duckling's phone to call El Guapo because Beebop told his parents that he was staying with El.

Duckling calls El and learns that his grandma bit it. Bought the farm. Gone to visit the choir invisible. D-E-D, dead. Nobody seems concerned. Duckling is concerned, however, about whether Beebop can stay at his house and the ring. El puts down a solid no on both counts because his damn grandmother just died and the neighbor lady might have seen somebody kill her. Somebody wearing a brown sweater, but do not remember that because its a random detail that... wait a second, Duckling remembers that Rocksteady wears a brown sweater.

Duckling confronts Cordelia and Beebop with the knowledge that Rocksteady killed Gram Guapo and that she is going to the police. They are cool with Rocksteady murdering an old lady but are way not cool with Duckling going to the police. Cordelia goes to get Rocksteady while Beebop holds Duckling hostage. When Rocksteady comes in, whoo boy, he is wearin' his killin' sweater.

Observations
1. Why in the world is there a news report on Sunday night? I've never watch television in New Mexico, but I thought nightly news programs were reserved for weekdays. Does nothing ever happen in this town?
2. Why the hell do we get exposition about what they are going to do to the car? Why does Duckling need to know? She is the one person in this group I would not give information to as she has already proven herself the most likely to squeal.
3. Why the hell didn't Cordelia just call Duckling on the cell phone Cordelia mentioned she had? And why the hell didn't they use the cell to call El Guapo? See what happens when you update your book with tech?
4. Why does Duckling have to remember that Rocksteady wears a brown sweater? Couldn't she just freak out about going to the cops then have Rocksteady come in with the sweater? This is nuts.

Thank you, this has been today's #evanreviews

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