V is for Van Dusen, Chris “King Hugo’s Huge Ego”

King Hugo's Huge Ego by Chris Van Dusen
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

There’s really three things I can use to judge this book: art, story, and characters. Let’s do this.

The art of King Hugo’s Huge Ego is charming. I get the feeling of Disney animation with these drawings and colors, shapes varying and landscapes that are pretty. It’s really pretty book thing.

The story in the book is bland. An aesop about a witch who curses a king, you have all read this before. What is particularly saddening is the quick turn at the end where everybody feels bad, falls in love and lives happily ever after. I would have burned the mother down.

The characters are two dimensional and do not behave like real people. They are dumb. The sorceress does not look like a witch. That was dumb.

This has been five minute reviews. Thank you.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

U is for Urban, Linda “Mouse Was Mad”

Mouse Was Mad by Linda Urban


Comparing Linda Urban’s Mouse Was Mad To James Joyce’s Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.

While not similar in achievement or merit, the children’s picture book Mouse Was Mad does bear a striking resemblance to the classic Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Each book gives a journey of its protagonist from simple id to a creative being knowledgeable of both self and his environment.

You are actually reading this?

Both the Mouse and the Artist start off in states of pure id, one mad and the other a baby. The simple actions and language give voice to the protagonist, yet it is a voice he does not understand. By expressing himself, he only draws the attention of those around him, often disappointed as he attempts to mimic.

You must be some kind of masochist. Please get help.

A cycle of achievement, failure and learning begins to plague both characters. The Artist goes through a series of missteps wherein at first he thinks he is excelling, yet then learns others are looking down on him. The Mouse suffers the same mistake, each time attempting a new medium of expression only to be dumped in a puddle by its master.

All the way to here, huh? Okay.  Your boring-ass funeral, pal.

At the end, both the Mouse and the Artist find that their true expression is to simply be. The mouse stands still, at the same time attracting, confusing and causing imitation by his contemporaries. The Artist does... something, I forget what but I am sure it is like that, being an artist and finding solace in something.


Whatever. 


Go outside, there are better things to do than read this drivel. If you are reading this at work, quit your job. It obviously means very little if you are reading this instead of doing whatever you are supposed to be doing. Hell, why am I still here? I have better things to do. I just got Mr. Show: The Complete Collection on DVD. Could be watching that. Am I? Nope, doing this for the 24th straight day in a row. That’s right, 24. I did reviews of letters of the alphabet I made up just so I could review things on Sunday. Then, I did not post them because I could not find books to review based on my made up letters because I made them up. Irony, your name is irony. I wonder if it’s legal to name a baby “irony.” Or “ironic.” What’s your kid’s name?, they’d ask. That’s Ironic, I’d say. Silly me.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

T is for Taback, Simms “This is the House That Jack Built”

This is the House that Jack Built by Simms Taback
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is the House that Jack Built that was in the community that was where the Wal-Mart that sells the pesticide that kills the bugs feeding on the crops of the poor farmer appealing to the government bureaucrat that wrote rejection letter for the form for funding for the library where librarian who dates the dog catcher that used the tranquilizer that put down the monkey owned by the pimp that will kill the two-bit crackhead having blackmail sex with mayor of Bannville who directed the police department to look for the homeless man who murdered the dog ugly bastard that hates the crazy cat lady that wants to kill the rat bastard that chose to do the cheesy review of This is the House that Jack Built.

The drawings in this book are okay.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

S is for Sierra, Judy “Wild About Books”

Wild About Books by Judy Sierra
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A librarian unleashes knowledge onto lower animals at a local zoo, causing an growth of literary culture in the animal population as well as a contempt for the things of man. This book is a scathing look at the library industry as a whole, how it began and how it will fall.

We begin our tale as Molly the Librarian “mistakenly” drives her bookmobile into the zoo. Despite the wording that this was no plan on Molly’s part, she decides to set up shop and entice the inhabitants of the zoo with literary works none the less. I doubt Molly’s motives in this are pure, as she is the prototypical temptress that leads the world into disarray. Compare this to the rise of the public library and the idea of “free information” in society.

Molly eggs on the aberrant behavior of the animals by pushing her book delights on the local population, causing them to break free from their cages and seek her out. Rather than call local authorities such as the suspiciously absent zoo keepers, Molly gives books freely to the animals with promises of more if they return. Our librarian teaches the creatures how to care and maintain their new found knowledge, just as the library taught the public. She even goes so far as to adjust her product to fit the needs of individual creatures, such as waterproofing for otters, without regard for the materials themselves. Just as Molly caters to the public’s wants and needs, so does the library cater to the public, creating spaces and places for them and not for the knowledge.

A tipping point comes when the need for output overcomes the need for input, causing Molly to be irrelevant. The animals themselves become the creators, authoring and critiquing tomes of various literature, putting aside their need for literature and by extension Molly. Sure, she may be there, helping them, but it is the animals themselves that are generating content now. As the rise of the Internet foreshadowed the fall of the public library as “knowledge centers,” so does Molly’s position in zoo society.

In the end we find Molly not at the center of the tale, but on the outside looking into the world that was created by her actions. The animals rule the information, are its gatekeepers, and Molly must trust that they can do so for themselves. While this tale ends on an optimistic note, one cannot help but wonder what the future may bring. Will future zoo inhabitants, our children, be as capable as those who first struggled to break free? As Molly, the librarian, recedes into the the distance as an antiquated relic, will future generations keep her love of information, imagination and knowledge sacred? Or will the animal society forget the past and devolve into a culture of commenters and collectors who do not learn from their mistakes but delete them with a keystroke?

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

R is for Reed, Lynn Rowe “Color Chaos”

Color Chaos! by Lynn Rowe Reed

R is for Reed, Lynn Rowe “Color Chaos”

As reviewed by Edward Areteast, translated by Google Translate

Summary

Oh, it's pure art and history of pain. They suffer from color to see the world as the gods,that this little baby crying Rainbows. But ... What? Oh yes, this is not art. Clarity. Let me explain.

This man wants to become an illustrator, I have a few things. After his mother to stick to flowers. Expresses its satisfaction. This is not an entity in this world, people do not want to enter the Associate Director.

Thus, these human remains, which are sensitive to the color bar bastard. I swearrevenge, and the color wheel started to develop such ustroystva.Constructicons Voltronor a combination of their own power, the head of the color wheel. What is the name of the artist with the help of plug-ins, as well as the heroes and heroines, such as to remove the screw.

This is a work of art.

Edward, thank you!

Original Text:

Résumé

Oh, c'est une histoire de l'art pur et malheur. Que les dieux pleurent en-ciel sur ces petits enfants car ils voir la couleur essuyé de leur monde. Mais, bonjour ... qu'est-ce? Oh oui,c'est l'art. La pureté. Laissez-moi vous expliquer.

Il ya ce petit garçon, cette chose toute petite qui souhaite seulement d'être un illustrateur.Alors sa mère, elle lui achète la couleur de marquage des bâtons. Il est tellement excité.Entrez l'homme bâtard, le gars vice-principal qui ne souhaite pas que le monde soit tel qu'il est.

Donc, cet homme jette tout bâtard du marquage couleur des bâtons dans la poubelle où ils deviennent sensibles. Ils jurent vengeance et commencer à construire un tel dispositifqui est la roue des couleurs. Comme Voltron ou les Constructicons avant eux, leurs pouvoirs se combinent pour former de roue de couleur capitaine. Avec l'aide de l'artisteQuel est son plug Nom, ils surmontent l'homme bâtard et devenir des héros et des héroïnes.

C'est un morceau des maîtres.

Merci, Edward!

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

Q is for “Quiet, Wyatt!” by Bill Maynard

Quiet, Wyatt! by Bill Maynard
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As reviewed by A Guy Who Has Not Had a Cigarette All Day And Really Really Really Hates, Well, Everything

Summary
This story is about a kid. Nobody likes him, then he saves a puppy and for some reason everybody likes him.

This book is giving an unrealistic image of life to children. If everyone hates you, then that’s just the way it is going to be. You may find happiness in one thing, one great thing that makes you happy and makes you feel good and lets you walk outside of the job you got shoveled into for a miserable 15 minutes every couple of hours then boom! They will take that thing away cause some people think that by being near you they themselves will lose happiness if you are happy. Everyone is a bunch of horrible monsters.

Oh, yeah, I forgot, he saves a puppy! That’s really freakin cute. Shows the kid is not a horrible monster. Great. That’s the best most of us will live up to: not being a horrible monster. Good job. Now every kid that reads this will put animals into harmful situations and expect to be rewarded for speaking up. Some of those kids won’t succeed, though. Little Puddin’ might get run the hell over.

Then the kid runs away from home. Gets into prostitution. Gets crabs. And nobody will give a crap until he starts smoking then they beat that kid until he does not care about anything anymore.  Metaphorically.

Jesus, now the guy three doors down from me is smoking in his bedroom. Camels. Touche, universe.

Thanks, um... Non-Cigarette Smoking Man

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

P is for Pinkwater, Daniel “Dancing Larry”

Dancing Larry by Daniel Pinkwater
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As read by Someone with No Time on His Hands

Summary
A bear dances and in the end, puts on a show. What? Don’t look at me like that. It’s what happens. I can’t be cute all the time, I’m late for work. Fine. His name’s Larry. That’s all this book is about.

Why was it banned?
Probably was not, although it maybe if we keep coddling our children. I can see a world where people are afraid books will convince people that bears are nice. Like this lady:

Some people just need out of the equation folks. This earth is too small for the idiotic to rule it.

What is the moral?
Love thy neighbor, unless thy neighbor is a polar bear then take that thing down. Or move. Probably move, it’s not like the polar bear got up enough equity to come to where you are. Your dumbass probably went to him, which means you deserve what you get.

How do I teach this?
Slowly.

What other lessons can come from this book?
What? Love of country.  What the hell?  This is ridiculous. Why am I being asked these questions? Where am I?

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.