Z is for Zenz, Aaron "The Hiccupotamus"

The Hiccupotamus by Aaron Zenz
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Summary
A hippopotamus gets the hiccups and his "friends" decided to help him out.

I can only start this review with one question: If a hippopotamus got hiccups, who would give more than two shits? After much research (AKA, repeated viewings of the movie Congo) I have found that hippopotami are complete and total assholes. The first half of this book proves this point as the hippopotamus (from the latin "monster douche"), runs from friend to friend disturbing their lifestyles to the point that they must solve the problem or perish.

The elephant, centipede, and rhinoceros (yeah, you just read that right) all start attempting various cures from scaring and wrapping him with licorice and spinning him around. Cause that happens in a jungle. At one point, it seems they also secure the talents of a damn American buffalo, tie the hippo to him, then I guess they just jump around. There’s also a bit with vinegar that I do not understand.

I am going to let you folks into a little secret: This month might as well have broken me like a dry twig on a cold winter night. Children’s books sounded so fun. What could be more fun and easy than reviewing motherpunking picture books? Yeah, if I had only known. I feel like the next time I am forced to do a story time I am going to start yelling at the children how their culture is disintegrating. This book had a buffalo with a hippo tied to his back. Those creatures do not even exist together in god’s creation outside of mankind’s animal jails that are zoos. I am going to drop some truth bombs on these little sons of bitches and they will not see it coming. This month is going to make children cry. I hope you are happy, A to Z challenge. Bless.

Oh, and the art’s pretty fun to look at.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

Y is for Young, Ed “Lon Po Po”

Lon Po Po by Ed Young
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Summary
Three children are left alone at night so they murder a talking wolf.

I can only surmise that the setting of this book is supposed to be Narnia due to the talking animal. This takes me right out of the story as I do not believe in talking animals or locations where they exist. I find the entire notion ridiculous.

The characters are shallow adaptations of classic fairy tales, in this case an amalgamation of Red Riding Hood. We are told much about each character, only to then have that trait shown. The best example of this is when the “clever” oldest child murders the talking wolf by tricking him.

This story is supposed to be a tale about not trusting strangers, but it comes off as a horrible murder tale. At no point are we given evidence that the wolf wishes the children any harm. Sure, he notices how plump and sweet they are, but so does my grandma and I doubt she’s gonna kill me any time soon. No doubt cause I can take her, but I digress. In fact, when the wolf is invited in the house, he hangs out with them, crawls in bed with them, even talks to them. This poor lonely bastard was just looking for warmth and immortality and these crazy children killed him for it.

So what do we learn from this book? Don’t go asking for help when kids parents are away. The children will go all Home Alone and kill you.

I will give this book high marks for the watercolor art design. Each page floats by in a dream state of color and emotion. The picture of the wolf in the sheet outside the house is just unsettling. The images are beautiful renditions of classic Chinese art, too bad the words got in the way.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

X is for X-Men

So... um... awkward... I could not find a children’s book with “X” in the title to review so I’m just going to use this post to push our sister blog, Penultimate Issues, on you. It’s run by a great friend of mine and wonderful reviewer of all things comics. You should go there right now and read it!

 Below is everything I can remember right now about the X-Men!


Characters
Wolverine
Angel
Cyclopes

Gambler
Blue Fur Guy
Icicle Boy
Demon Guy
Steel Dude
Hot Chick
Spandex Lady
Mrs. Boobs
Metal Control Man
Fireman
Steve

Story
The story revolves around a bunch of X-Men and their fight to not be oppressed and stuff. They are really good at doing this because they have magical powers. Sometimes they have to fight people with other magical powers and there’s always some problem with time travel. Think Days of Our Lives meets Terminator.

I’m just kidding. You should read the X-Men comics, especially anything written by Chris Claremont. And check out Penultimate Issues (www.pissues.com)! Marc’s doing a great job over there and deserves respect!

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

W is for Ward, Helen “The Dragon Machine”

The Dragon Machine by Helen Ward
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Summary
George is a little boy who is lonely until he starts seeing dragons everywhere. When the dragons become a problem, he builds a machine to take them home to the wilderness.

The art is okay, but the story and characters make up for it only because they bring to mind a story. I want to tell you that story.

Once there was a little boy named Evan. Evan had a very active imagination. He made up little men, kinda the size of the Brownies (picture here played by Kevin Pollack and Rick Overton) from the movie Willow. These Brownies had no names, but they acted out every movie that Evan saw, every book Evan read. The Brownies drove time machines, rode horses, fought Dracula, and solved mysteries. Over time, the Brownies moved out of these pre-formed plotlines and acted on their own. Evan wrote down what they did, laughed at their jokes and was upset when one of them was hurt or died (as the plot required).

The problem came when the Brownies started to show up when Evan did not think about them. This was most horrible when it happened at church, because Evan would not pay attention to the preacher and would get into trouble. He could not explain to his parents about the Brownies because that was silly. As Evan grew up he made a decision and abandoned the Brownies. They would attempt to crawl back in his mind at church, but he would not write down their stories or even pay attention to what they did. The preacher and his stories about God were the only stories that mattered. The Brownies were a distraction and the devil sent distractions, the preacher said. Evan devoted his mind to the church and the baptismal waters washed away the Brownies for good.

A while later, Evan got in an accident. Nothing serious, but he started questioning. Why did God let that happen? Why did God let anything bad happen, particularly in His name? The Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, slavery: all done in one god’s name or another. Evan started to think that maybe God was just as made up as all his little Brownie friends. If that was true, maybe his little Brownies were not so bad after all. So he called them back.

But the Brownies would not come back. Evan had pushed them away, far back in his mind and they would not tell him wonderful stories anymore. Evan tried and tried, reading more and watching more and looking for the types of stories his Brownie friends had made for him, but he could not find them inside or out. Then Evan just started writing and writing, hoping to make what he had lost. He has found some peace in the writing, but everyday he reads and watches and writes, always looking for his little Brownie friends to tell him one last great story.

Thanks.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

V is for Van Dusen, Chris “King Hugo’s Huge Ego”

King Hugo's Huge Ego by Chris Van Dusen
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

There’s really three things I can use to judge this book: art, story, and characters. Let’s do this.

The art of King Hugo’s Huge Ego is charming. I get the feeling of Disney animation with these drawings and colors, shapes varying and landscapes that are pretty. It’s really pretty book thing.

The story in the book is bland. An aesop about a witch who curses a king, you have all read this before. What is particularly saddening is the quick turn at the end where everybody feels bad, falls in love and lives happily ever after. I would have burned the mother down.

The characters are two dimensional and do not behave like real people. They are dumb. The sorceress does not look like a witch. That was dumb.

This has been five minute reviews. Thank you.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

U is for Urban, Linda “Mouse Was Mad”

Mouse Was Mad by Linda Urban


Comparing Linda Urban’s Mouse Was Mad To James Joyce’s Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.

While not similar in achievement or merit, the children’s picture book Mouse Was Mad does bear a striking resemblance to the classic Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Each book gives a journey of its protagonist from simple id to a creative being knowledgeable of both self and his environment.

You are actually reading this?

Both the Mouse and the Artist start off in states of pure id, one mad and the other a baby. The simple actions and language give voice to the protagonist, yet it is a voice he does not understand. By expressing himself, he only draws the attention of those around him, often disappointed as he attempts to mimic.

You must be some kind of masochist. Please get help.

A cycle of achievement, failure and learning begins to plague both characters. The Artist goes through a series of missteps wherein at first he thinks he is excelling, yet then learns others are looking down on him. The Mouse suffers the same mistake, each time attempting a new medium of expression only to be dumped in a puddle by its master.

All the way to here, huh? Okay.  Your boring-ass funeral, pal.

At the end, both the Mouse and the Artist find that their true expression is to simply be. The mouse stands still, at the same time attracting, confusing and causing imitation by his contemporaries. The Artist does... something, I forget what but I am sure it is like that, being an artist and finding solace in something.


Whatever. 


Go outside, there are better things to do than read this drivel. If you are reading this at work, quit your job. It obviously means very little if you are reading this instead of doing whatever you are supposed to be doing. Hell, why am I still here? I have better things to do. I just got Mr. Show: The Complete Collection on DVD. Could be watching that. Am I? Nope, doing this for the 24th straight day in a row. That’s right, 24. I did reviews of letters of the alphabet I made up just so I could review things on Sunday. Then, I did not post them because I could not find books to review based on my made up letters because I made them up. Irony, your name is irony. I wonder if it’s legal to name a baby “irony.” Or “ironic.” What’s your kid’s name?, they’d ask. That’s Ironic, I’d say. Silly me.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

T is for Taback, Simms “This is the House That Jack Built”

This is the House that Jack Built by Simms Taback
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is the House that Jack Built that was in the community that was where the Wal-Mart that sells the pesticide that kills the bugs feeding on the crops of the poor farmer appealing to the government bureaucrat that wrote rejection letter for the form for funding for the library where librarian who dates the dog catcher that used the tranquilizer that put down the monkey owned by the pimp that will kill the two-bit crackhead having blackmail sex with mayor of Bannville who directed the police department to look for the homeless man who murdered the dog ugly bastard that hates the crazy cat lady that wants to kill the rat bastard that chose to do the cheesy review of This is the House that Jack Built.

The drawings in this book are okay.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

S is for Sierra, Judy “Wild About Books”

Wild About Books by Judy Sierra
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A librarian unleashes knowledge onto lower animals at a local zoo, causing an growth of literary culture in the animal population as well as a contempt for the things of man. This book is a scathing look at the library industry as a whole, how it began and how it will fall.

We begin our tale as Molly the Librarian “mistakenly” drives her bookmobile into the zoo. Despite the wording that this was no plan on Molly’s part, she decides to set up shop and entice the inhabitants of the zoo with literary works none the less. I doubt Molly’s motives in this are pure, as she is the prototypical temptress that leads the world into disarray. Compare this to the rise of the public library and the idea of “free information” in society.

Molly eggs on the aberrant behavior of the animals by pushing her book delights on the local population, causing them to break free from their cages and seek her out. Rather than call local authorities such as the suspiciously absent zoo keepers, Molly gives books freely to the animals with promises of more if they return. Our librarian teaches the creatures how to care and maintain their new found knowledge, just as the library taught the public. She even goes so far as to adjust her product to fit the needs of individual creatures, such as waterproofing for otters, without regard for the materials themselves. Just as Molly caters to the public’s wants and needs, so does the library cater to the public, creating spaces and places for them and not for the knowledge.

A tipping point comes when the need for output overcomes the need for input, causing Molly to be irrelevant. The animals themselves become the creators, authoring and critiquing tomes of various literature, putting aside their need for literature and by extension Molly. Sure, she may be there, helping them, but it is the animals themselves that are generating content now. As the rise of the Internet foreshadowed the fall of the public library as “knowledge centers,” so does Molly’s position in zoo society.

In the end we find Molly not at the center of the tale, but on the outside looking into the world that was created by her actions. The animals rule the information, are its gatekeepers, and Molly must trust that they can do so for themselves. While this tale ends on an optimistic note, one cannot help but wonder what the future may bring. Will future zoo inhabitants, our children, be as capable as those who first struggled to break free? As Molly, the librarian, recedes into the the distance as an antiquated relic, will future generations keep her love of information, imagination and knowledge sacred? Or will the animal society forget the past and devolve into a culture of commenters and collectors who do not learn from their mistakes but delete them with a keystroke?

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

R is for Reed, Lynn Rowe “Color Chaos”

Color Chaos! by Lynn Rowe Reed

R is for Reed, Lynn Rowe “Color Chaos”

As reviewed by Edward Areteast, translated by Google Translate

Summary

Oh, it's pure art and history of pain. They suffer from color to see the world as the gods,that this little baby crying Rainbows. But ... What? Oh yes, this is not art. Clarity. Let me explain.

This man wants to become an illustrator, I have a few things. After his mother to stick to flowers. Expresses its satisfaction. This is not an entity in this world, people do not want to enter the Associate Director.

Thus, these human remains, which are sensitive to the color bar bastard. I swearrevenge, and the color wheel started to develop such ustroystva.Constructicons Voltronor a combination of their own power, the head of the color wheel. What is the name of the artist with the help of plug-ins, as well as the heroes and heroines, such as to remove the screw.

This is a work of art.

Edward, thank you!

Original Text:

Résumé

Oh, c'est une histoire de l'art pur et malheur. Que les dieux pleurent en-ciel sur ces petits enfants car ils voir la couleur essuyé de leur monde. Mais, bonjour ... qu'est-ce? Oh oui,c'est l'art. La pureté. Laissez-moi vous expliquer.

Il ya ce petit garçon, cette chose toute petite qui souhaite seulement d'être un illustrateur.Alors sa mère, elle lui achète la couleur de marquage des bâtons. Il est tellement excité.Entrez l'homme bâtard, le gars vice-principal qui ne souhaite pas que le monde soit tel qu'il est.

Donc, cet homme jette tout bâtard du marquage couleur des bâtons dans la poubelle où ils deviennent sensibles. Ils jurent vengeance et commencer à construire un tel dispositifqui est la roue des couleurs. Comme Voltron ou les Constructicons avant eux, leurs pouvoirs se combinent pour former de roue de couleur capitaine. Avec l'aide de l'artisteQuel est son plug Nom, ils surmontent l'homme bâtard et devenir des héros et des héroïnes.

C'est un morceau des maîtres.

Merci, Edward!

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

Q is for “Quiet, Wyatt!” by Bill Maynard

Quiet, Wyatt! by Bill Maynard
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As reviewed by A Guy Who Has Not Had a Cigarette All Day And Really Really Really Hates, Well, Everything

Summary
This story is about a kid. Nobody likes him, then he saves a puppy and for some reason everybody likes him.

This book is giving an unrealistic image of life to children. If everyone hates you, then that’s just the way it is going to be. You may find happiness in one thing, one great thing that makes you happy and makes you feel good and lets you walk outside of the job you got shoveled into for a miserable 15 minutes every couple of hours then boom! They will take that thing away cause some people think that by being near you they themselves will lose happiness if you are happy. Everyone is a bunch of horrible monsters.

Oh, yeah, I forgot, he saves a puppy! That’s really freakin cute. Shows the kid is not a horrible monster. Great. That’s the best most of us will live up to: not being a horrible monster. Good job. Now every kid that reads this will put animals into harmful situations and expect to be rewarded for speaking up. Some of those kids won’t succeed, though. Little Puddin’ might get run the hell over.

Then the kid runs away from home. Gets into prostitution. Gets crabs. And nobody will give a crap until he starts smoking then they beat that kid until he does not care about anything anymore.  Metaphorically.

Jesus, now the guy three doors down from me is smoking in his bedroom. Camels. Touche, universe.

Thanks, um... Non-Cigarette Smoking Man

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

P is for Pinkwater, Daniel “Dancing Larry”

Dancing Larry by Daniel Pinkwater
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As read by Someone with No Time on His Hands

Summary
A bear dances and in the end, puts on a show. What? Don’t look at me like that. It’s what happens. I can’t be cute all the time, I’m late for work. Fine. His name’s Larry. That’s all this book is about.

Why was it banned?
Probably was not, although it maybe if we keep coddling our children. I can see a world where people are afraid books will convince people that bears are nice. Like this lady:

Some people just need out of the equation folks. This earth is too small for the idiotic to rule it.

What is the moral?
Love thy neighbor, unless thy neighbor is a polar bear then take that thing down. Or move. Probably move, it’s not like the polar bear got up enough equity to come to where you are. Your dumbass probably went to him, which means you deserve what you get.

How do I teach this?
Slowly.

What other lessons can come from this book?
What? Love of country.  What the hell?  This is ridiculous. Why am I being asked these questions? Where am I?

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

O is for O’Neill, Mary “The Sound of Day, The Sound of Night”

The Sound of Day, the Sound of Night by Mary O'Neill
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As reviewed by Dennis The Baker

Summary
You want a summary? Here ya go: This book’s nothing but the onomatopoeic ramblings of a mind cursed with synesthesia while drinking mountain lightning from a jug laced with LSD. The shift from day to night is almost as absurd as the tonal shifts from sound to sound, like a chicken in an ass-kicking contest hosted by KFC.

The narrative is almost as nonexistent as Bigfoot riding the Loch Ness Monster from an Illuminati meeting to an all night kegger with the friend of a friend who saw somebody die from mixing pop rocks and Coke. Each page reads like a Speak-and-Spell with Tourette Syndrome where the illustrator bet the author she could not find three things wrong with each picture. The only thing that changes in this piece is the position of the sun in the sky.

And speaking of changing, imagine yourself in a world where a set of characters live that make Pooh Corner look like Stalingrad after the war. The blandness of how each comes across only brings helpful visions of rooms of men staring a walls expectantly waiting for the paint to melt so they would have something to do with their pathetic lives. This family is either the beginning of the most boring cult of all time or an example as to how the American family was dreamed up when our country was founded by a Revolutionary soldier that took one too many musket balls to the head.

Hallelujah, where’s the pie?!

Thanks, Dennis!


Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

N is for Newman, Barbara Johansen “Tex & Sugar: A Big City Kitty Ditty”

Tex & Sugar: A Big City Kitty Ditty by Barbara Johansen Newman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As Read by Red Poetguy

Here’s a tale of love found in the big city,
Two country cats, one rugged and one pretty.

They both went to seek out their fame,
But each other they found, and it was a little lame.

The grey one had testicles, and he plucked guitar.
The orange one sang sweetly and looked good from afar.

Tex the male ended up washing dishes,
Sugar the fem was a female cat... probably liked to eat fishes...

The cats started singing out of desperation,
So sad were they that they looked for... um.. inspiration.

I started singing, much like these little kitties,
But all I could find were a bunch of pitties.

That last rhyme was lame, much like the rest,
I’m out of ideas, I’m doing my best.

Stop staring at me like that, I don’t need your crap.
You try to make up a dumb rhyme about a book about two singing cats that fall in love after failing at their dreams cause alone their dreams were worthless but together they work out and that’s frickin beautiful but you are just a crappy poet alone in your room in your tighty whities staring at a computer screen trying to come up with a dumb poem because some library jackass asked you to review a children’s book and you thought “Hey that’s a way to get exposure for your poetry” but when you start writing all you have is just junk that’s not fit for basic human consumption. Man, I hate this. Oh, yeah... a rhyme... wrap?

I dunno. Merry Christmas.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

M is for Minor, Wendell “My Farm Friends”

My Farm Friends by Wendell Minor
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As reviewed by George Orwell from recently unearthed documents

Mr. Minor has written a biting piece of propaganda that attempts to teach our children that all animals are happy being oppressed and penned. This book is an invitation to delight in the secrets of the flesh and to deny our existence. It also has cute illustrations. But no bunnies! Father’s farm had bunnies with their soft wittle fur that I would bury my face in and go “whosa good bunny-boo?” Ahem. Sorry.

The first notion one gets from this illustrated pack of lies is the “duty of the working class.” The rooster crows as its job and the text invites you to “cock-a-doodle too.” The cats work clearing the barn of mice while no attention is made to the poor mice starving and dying in the streets. That the working class is given this attention confirms that the idea here is to break the reader down, to force the question “are you doing your part?”

The next question the text asks is “do you think you can’t get lower?” Not outright, of course. The question is illustrated by mentioning that pigs bath in mud because they can’t sweat and chickens take dust baths. Ha, look at that, those do look light red combs on a rooster. I want a rooster, maybe a baby chick. Gah! Look at me, turning to their ways. The entire treatment is disgusting.

The final theme is one of acceptance, of “welcome to the farm.” This shameful mocking of society’s weak is presented by a sheep who gets nervous when alone and loves its flock. “Conform!” this text shouts at you from behind wool-covered, aw, wittle lamb. Did you stray away, little fella? Just nuzzle up to mama and- Holy Mother of Mendel!!! I was almost taken in by that obvious Christ imagery. Blast this book, and blast its final message: that the animals are waiting to welcome you to the farm. They are not!

The depiction of this farm is a desperate attempt to teach people that it is okay to be animals, to be herded and penned. The notion of a unified farm culture is an illusion meant to keep the American people locked in stasis. I mean, what would happen if the animals in this farm rose up, threw off their human oppressors...  hmmm, that gives me an idea.

Thanks, Mr. Orwell!

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

L is for Lyon, George Ella “Trucks Roll!”

Trucks Roll! by George Ella Lyon
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As read by Frank “Five Fists” Fingerman, Long Haul Trucker

I read this book to my daughter before going out for another haul and just found it a delightful read. My little Baby Fist, that’s her handle “Baby Fist,” she thought I was just the coolest person in the whole world after reading this book about what her daddy does, but what the hell does she know, she’s six, right? This colorful book of lies does to trucking what Lord of the Rings did to hiking. Yeah, it’s cool and all, but that just ain’t the way it goes.

The following are factual inaccuracies I found in “Trucks Roll!”

- While trucks do have trailers and cabs, but it is very dangerous the way they show them truckers transporting rabbits and labs. You just can’t have a labrador hanging out the back of your trailer, people.
- I don’t know what kind of school these people went to, but you just can’t have a giant spout hooked to a giant bathtub filled with giant apples trolling down the highway. Just ain’t safe.
- The twisty road they depict does not have any type of sand trap to slow down a runaway haul.
- Even if you could bake a cookie large enough to drive on a covered wagon, those things would just be unsanitary to have in the open air like that.
- I’m not even going to go into how that puzzle would stay together like that in the box.
- Air horns don’t go “beep” no matter how deep they are. I always thought it was more of a “honk.” That may be a personal choice.
- While we may stop at gas stations, we use diesel. Gasoline just ain’t good in the rig.
- I don’t want to give anyone the illusion that truckers drive “rolling dreams.” I’ve always thought of rigs as “fart boxes.”

Thanks, Five Fists!

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

K is for Kimmel, Eric A. “The Three Little Tamales”

The Three Little Tamales by Eric A. Kimmel
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As read by The Rojo Fairy

Hello, boys and girls! I’m the Rojo Fairy, or “Red” Fairy, and I’m here to tell you about the most wonderfullest story I have ever read. The Three Little Tamales is an amusing retelling of the classic Three Little Pigs story with a Latino twist, or “gimmick”. Can you boys and girls say “gimmick”? I knew you could. Let’s see what this story has in store for us. He-he.

We start our tale in the “taqueria of Tio Jose and Tia Lupe.” In English, that translates to “McDonald’s of Uncle Joe and Aunt Rebecca.” Within this taqueria lives three tamales, which are what the French call “taco wraps.” The three tamales run away, each finding a new place to stay including sagebrush, corn, and a cactus. All of these plants are indigenous (can you say “indigenous”?) to the land known as “Mexico,” where all food talks.

One day along comes Senor Lobo, the Big Bad Wolf. “Senor” in spanish means “mister” and lobo”means “wolf,” which means his name is “Mister Wolf, the Big Bad Wolf.” When I knew him, we just called him BBW, but then he had all that trouble with the pigs and moved across the border. We’ll always have that last night in Tijuana, I guess.

Anyway, so BBW comes along and he’s all rough and tough and wants him some food, even though it probably spoiled in the sun, but I guess because it’s living he’s okay with that. Hey, boys and girls, can you say “carrion eater” in Spanish? Me neither.

So the jerk huffs and puffs and blows down the first two tamales houses. Same old schtick. “Schtick” means “something you do over and over again like leaving a fairy alone in a foreign land after a night of passion and never calling her again.” Why do I always go after the bad wolfs? Can you say “daddy issues,” boys and girls? I can.

So he goes after the tamales in the cactus and they defeat him. Actually, they try to roast him alive, which is more than that sad bast- Oh, Right! Boys and girls, the mean old wolf is beaten by the tamales and they all live happily ever after.

Wasn’t that a wonderful story?! Goodbye, little ones! May your lives be glorious!

Thanks, Rojo Fairy! Where do I find these people? I have to get more normal reviewers... Half of them don’t even say if the book is good or not. Weirdos.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

J is for Johnston, Lynn “Farley Follows His Nose”

Farley Follows His Nose by Lynn Johnston
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As reviewed by Puddin’ the Dog

So, Puddin, can you give us a summary of this work?
Ruff, rrrr. Rrrrr. Owwwwwww.
Translation: Straight from the comic series “For Better or For Worse” comes the tale of loveable dog Farley and his quest for hot dogs. I was not a fan.

Why didn’t you like it?
Rrrrrrr, rowf. Ruf. Oarrrrrr. Fmph. Ruf, rrrrrr, rrrrrumph.
Translation: This book contained many factual errors about how it feels to be a dog. The author seems to have a good grasp on how a dog behaves, but not why a dog may do what he or she does what he or she does.

Well, the first thing that happens is Farley smells hotdogs...
Oarrrumph, ruf. Pffffm. Ehhhrrrmmss. Ruf. Rrrrrr. Rrrrr, umph, ruuurrrrrrr.
Translation: Let me stop you right there. First, a dog never wants for hot dogs. While we may eat them, even seem to hunger for them, we actually smell the rodent and insect parts that we rarely see in such concentration. Dogs love rodent and insect parts and will go at any length to get them.

That’s gross, yet interesting. But you have to like playing with children, right?
Rrrrrrr. Fmph. Rrrrrr, fmph.
Translation: Dogs do like children, but not because they play with us. We steal their youth and vitality. This is why many dogs seem to pass away of old age as soon as a child grows up or moves away.

That’s pretty messed up, Puddin’. I’m kinda horrified. Let’s move on. At a construction site a trucker gives Farley a ham and cheese sandwich.
Mmmmmph. Woof. Rrrrr, arf.
Translation: Untrue.  Truckers are known for their love of turkey and not ham. While not a dog fact, a fact none the less.

Um, I don’t even want to know how you know that. In the middle of the book, Farley runs into pools, gets turned down for toasted marshmallows, and loves playing hide-and-seek. What do you think?
Rrrrrrr. Raaarrrr, mph. Rowlf.
Translation: Pools and marshmallows are a way to keep the Dog down while lifting the Man up. If Farley is down with a little hide-and-seek, I will not judge.  Don’t ask, don’t woof.

At the end, Farley leads a little boy home. What do you think of that?
Rar, woof. Rrrrrrrr, umph, rowlf. Oarrrrrr.
Translation: It goes back to the harvesting of children’s life force. Farley’s just protecting his source. Lassie used to do it all the time.

Farley finally gets home by smelling some pizza. Any thoughts?
Bark.
Translation: Bull#%*t.

Puddin’! Bad boy! We do not use that language in the library. Time to go home. Out, out you go.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

I is for Ichikawa, Satomi "Come Fly with Me"

Come Fly With Me by Satomi Ichikawa
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As read by Franklin W. Marsden, Happy Guy

Summary
Come Fly with Me is the delightful tale of Cosmos the airplane and Woggy the dog, two toys who venture out into the world to go Somewhere in Paris, France. Along the way they face the joy of the open air, the horror of storms and relief of completing a journey, all done together as a team, as friends traveling together, learning that no matter where they go or what problems they face they will... be together... Jesus, I can't do this.

I can't see the joy in this. It's a beautiful piece, a tale of friendship that is just not true. Nothing is true anymore. I... I'm addicted to Boone's Farm Blackberry Wine. I'm a Booney. There. I said it. I named the demon that has plagued my soul for years on end, the orangatang on my back that gives the world the finger. Here is the demon orangatang that cost me my family, my job, and finally all my friends. I am Woggy the dog without my Cosmos, often flying on the sweet nectar in a storm with nothing to hold me.

I discovered Boone's Farm Blackberry Wine as a young man in the woods behind my house. My friend and I had been fishing in Old Man Jenson's pond and were coming back with a basket full of catfish. Then we saw it, that tall bottle sitting in the summer shade, one stray shaft of sunlight glinting off the screw on cap. My friend, Roger, he had been the one to suggest that we drink it. I did not fight him. We took that bottle down to the creek and began taking our first sips toward destiny.

Soon we were both sitting there, light headed and giggling. When I went to reach for the bottle, Roger withheld it. He said I had had too much, that the last sips were for him. But I wanted it. I wanted it so bad. My precious Boone's Farm Blackberry Wine. I told him I should have it, it was the anniversary of when I lost my first tooth. I even showed him the purple stained adult tooth that had grown in over the year. He did not give me the bottle, though.

I buried Roger next to that creek. I cried, not for the loss of my friend and my innocence, but for the time wasted not being wasted on my precious BFBW.

Everyone thinks I am the "Happy Guy". It is just the wine talking. Well, the wine and the murderlust that is sated by killing criminals for their Boone's Farm Black Berry Wine. I take comfort that I have used my pain to rid the world of filth like me.

So anyway, read "Come Fly with Me." You will enjoy it.

Um... Thanks, Franklin?

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

G is for Gauthier, Bertrand “Zachary in The Present”

Zachary in the Present by Bertrand Gauthier
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As read by Tina Smith, Age 6


Summary
Zachary is a little boy that lives with his daddy but not his mommy and and and... He gets a present. The present is an Ipod that’s old that runs on tape but it’s not sticky and has a podcast of his mommy on it and she tells him she loves him and he finds the present on his pillow not on his floor and his room is messy because he is a boy and boys are gross like that.

My momma told me that Zachary is not real and that’s why he’s in a book but I think he is real because he has a mommy and daddy and everybody that’s real has a mommy and daddy even if they don’t live together any more. My daddy doesn’t live with us but he brings me stuff like my sticker book that I love love love. Sometimes I go to stay with him and Jennifer and they give me stickers and we go to eat at McDonald’s and I get a happy meal and I get to keep the toy. Zachary’s a boy and that’s why his hair’s messy.

I think this book is weird cause there’s writing on the pictures and the bottom of the pictures and that’s messy but that’s okay cause Zachary’s a boy and it can be messy. These pictures don’t look like the one’s my daddy reads and those are really pretty and have Spider-man on them and he jumps around a lot on tall buildings and webs people up and makes my daddy smile. I like Spider-man, except I wish he would take off the mask cause he’s silly as a bald man. I don’t wanna be a Spider-man when I grow up, but, but maybe Zachary will and I want to be a scientist cause they make stuff that lets people do stuff and I like that.

Why was it banned?
My momma says that some people don’t like people that only live with their mommy or daddy but I think that’s silly. I get two bedrooms and two beds and my momma’s bed and my daddy’s bed and Jennifer’s nice to me. Sometimes I think people are mean just because they can’t have two houses and two beds and are just jealous of people who do. Maybe they don’t think the Easter Bunny will go to the right one but Momma says he always knows and you just have to have faith so that’s what I do and he brings me stickers. I like stickers a lot.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

F is for Frazier, Craig “Bee & Bird”

Bee & Bird by Craig Frazier
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As reviewed by Jerry the Minimalist

Summary
A graphic designer visually tells the tale of a bird and a bee on a trip.

The visual style was as breathtaking as simple shapes can be. The lack of words first scared, then thrilled me. I live by my words, you know.

In my opinion, the bird should have gotten top billing as this is his book.

Why was it banned?
I could see the blind having a problem being discriminated against, but that’s dumb and did not happen here. If a place ever banned this, they would have to be bitten by a radioactive crazy person to become Super Crazy Person, Defender of Weak Bullshit.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

E is for Ehlert, Lois “Planting a Rainbow”

Planting a Rainbow by Lois Ehlert
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As reviewed by a Friend of the Library and co-head of the Bannville Ladies Auxillary, Betsy Farmer


Summary
Oh, my goodness gracious, this book is the cutest thing in the whole wide world of sports, y’all! It’s all about this little girl that plants flowers with her mama and calls them rainbows cause of all the colors! Can you believe it? I almost cried because it was just like the time my mom took me to the Wal-Mart garden center and left me there to shop for three whole days til they got tired of me naming all the flowers and took me home. They let me keep my rose bush, Petunia.

Speaking of names, let me tell you all the gardening lingo you can pick up from this little pint-sized masterpiece. Your kids will be excited to learn words like “rhizome” and “tulip” as well as all the colors of God’s rainbow! I mean, I guess they would, I don’t have kids myself on account of the tumors, but it’s just wonderful to look upon.

The art in the book is what some would call “minimalist.” At least that’s what we call it in my studio downtown (Happy Artifacts, 325 Second St, right in the heart of Bannville, MS, come and see our Daisy Nights exhibition next week!), and what they taught me in that art class I took down at the Polytechnic. All these pictures are just so colorful! Makes me wanna run through the sprinklers!

Why was it banned?
I don’t know why anyone would want to deprive themselves and others of such a magical text. Well, I guess if your mother was dead and all it might be upsetting, but then who would tell you to read it while she went in the other room and took her happy medicine? It’s always better to read than watch the devil’s box, that’s what my mama said. I guess there might be something in there with a gay agenda, too, but that’s just silly billy talk cause this is about gardening with your mama, not the wonderful feel of another woman’s skin pressed against yours after a late study session at the Polytechnic. Um, I might need to pray about this book.

Thanks, Betsy!

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

D is for Duncan, Lois “Song of the Circus”

Song of the Circus by Lois Duncan

D is for Duncan, Lois “Song of the Circus”
Reviewed by Evan Banned

Summary
The reader is introduced to the world of the circus, a magical place filled with a myriad of complex and interesting characters. As the story progresses, two children must face a most ferocious beast and prove that carny children are both creepy and weird.

The descriptions and illustrations help to bring the world of the circus alive with a child’s view. The words are in poetic verse, as the title suggests, simple and filled with whimsy and fun. The illustrations are fashioned as a child would fashion them, with odd angles and disproportionate bodies that give an innocence to the work and the atmosphere it creates.

The characters are not very fleshed out as we are given only the briefest of introductions before the story begins revving towards the climax. The protagonists of the story are given very little to do, making their sudden turn to heroics wholly unbelievable. What makes this story even more unbelievable are the introductions so late in the story of plot centric characters such as the Bareback Riders and the Fat Lady’s elephant.

The message of the story is a simplified telling of William Blake’s Songs of Innocence and Experience with a circus background. The models of childhood and the tiger are clearly taken directly from Blake’s work, yet given a hero’s slant as a confrontation with the tiger (i.e. adulthood, experience) have the children ban together and triumph, giving the clear message that carny children never grow up. I can get behind this.

As in the other book I reviewed by Duncan, Killing Mr. Griffin, the author has retained the same writing style, albeit in verse form. The structure is the same, with introduction to characters followed by action and resolution, yet the pace is daunting. Duncan also does not trust the reader, giving exposition on each page rather than simply in each chapter as she did in Griffin. As this book has significantly less pages, this can be forgiven. Also, I liked the art. It was kinda cool and stuff.

Why was this book banned?
I am not sure is there has ever been any formal efforts to ban this work, but it does have to children overcoming a tiger by shouting at it so that’s not a very good life lesson. Also, there’s scatalogical humor. Poop. Heh.

C is for Charleton, Nancy Lee “Derek’s Dog Days”

Derek's Dog Days by Nancy Lee Charlton
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

As read by Barry and Garry, Illiterate Twin Man Children

Barry’s summary:
On the first couple of pages you got this cat on a couch getting scared by a kid because he thinks the kid’s gonna, I dun know, pull his hair out with tweezers or something. Which you should not do to cats cause they bite. Anyway, there’s this picture of this dumbass kid that looks like the time Garry peed on Grampa’s electric fence, all “Blaaaaeeeerrrrrggggg.” Haha.

Then... what the hell, this kid’s eatin a shoe. Who does that? And it looks like he’s got bodies stuffed in his nightstand. Now he’s lickin the floor and taking poops outside? What kinda sick book you got me reading fella? Holy crap, he’s naked. This is some kinda trap, right? Look, I know I clicked on that picture on the ‘puter but I didn’t mean to and I seen on the TV that you can’t trap me like this. I’m done, I’m never reading a book again!

Garry’s summary:
There’s a dog on a couch with a door open. The dog is on the couch and spooked and the kid is sticking his head out the door. The kid, at least I think it’s a kid, has a tail and is howling at the moon. There’s a shocked little boy that’s a werewolf or a dog from earlier. It’s also in watercolor.

Child on a bed, crayon pictures of dogs, one looks like Spud Mackinzie eating a penis. Child has no sense of perspective. Has a lamp of spotted dog. Whole dog theme. It looks like there’s a femer in his bed side table. And he’s eating a shoe, not sure if that’s manic insanity or werewolfism. Crazy shoe chewing child is running around a hallway on all fours with his butt out. I think he’s sexually abused or a dog person. Dog from earlier is clearly running in terror. It’s not a dog, though it looks like a cat or a fox, so I’m calling it a cog. Or a dat.

The crazy wolf child is drooling all over the floor and the cog is staring at him in shock and terror. I am fascinated by this child. His pajamas have turned red, leading to possession or the devil. He’s digging, but it looks like dirty mashed potatoes piled on a bunch of stuff that he sacrificed to Lord Satan. Next page, the child is now naked and shaking. He’s either a)drying himself off like a dog or... I don’t have anything. I bet the cat/dog monster dumped water on him to fix his werewolfism.

The child is dead. He is on his back while people stare at him. Wait, no, not dead, just dreaming he’s a mutant dog freak running through the woods with stray feral dogs looking to hunt down the blood of the innocent or others to convert to their dog cult. He is now wearing clothes with, ooooo, a lunch box with a bow tie. He looks like that Problem Child kid but in the second movie. He don’t look right. He looks shocked, like he’s pretending to be straight. I bet he’s been beaten. He’s now with other kids, dancing in a circle and has a evil grin. I bet he’s convinced them all to join his dog cult. I’m pretty sure these kids are supposed to be ethnic, that girls definitely Hispanic.

Now he is standing in front of a chalkboard where he has written “Derek Dog” and he has either a) killed and/or dominated the teacher or 2) is turning the dog cult into a city street gang and “Derek Dog” will be his street name, his tag if you will. He is now standing in a blob of tie dye holding up sharp fingers surrounded by the numbers one through six. I think this has all been a rabies fever dream and now he is “Derek Dog, Grand Hippie Wizard of the Dog Cult.” Now he’s running through a field with flags with a look of madness. One flag seems to be tortured, the next is a rainbow which means love knows no bounds cause love has no gender. He’s on his bicycle and his mouth is all cat-like, domineering as though he is looking down at his subjects. The fever either has taken him or he’s really taken over with his demon witch powers.

He’s now in the hospital, or got pajamas from somewhere, while he’s stroking the cat/dog fox thing that looks terrified, which may be some type of animal erotic rape. Now he’s wearing a plaid shirt, possibly sent out in the woods to become a lumberjack and drink pure bacon grease and maple syrup. Now he’s flashing the cat/dog/fox thing after becoming the king of the lumberjacks and showing his... parts to the world as is his nature.

He’s in bed, but there’s the liquid... I bet that’s his drugs that the parents slipped him when they sent him out in the woods. The parents are running because I would too if my son was either a demonic witch king of the lumberjacks or a rabid exhibitionist.

Finally he is in a chair and seems to be aware I am here, or at least the words are. This scares me. Crap, he just popped out from under a table and scared the shit out of the cat/dog/fox thing. I know he had his way with it by the lecherous look. It looks fucking terrified. And he’s back in plaid. He wasn’t a lumberjack, he was still in the gang! The meds didn’t work. That cat/dog/fox thing is his bitch.

We cut back to the cat/dog/fox thing on the couch terrified. The door is shut now, which means evil could be lurking anywhere. The back cover has a hidden conclusion they didn’t want you to think about. It’s pretty messed up shit. He’s taken a piece of cardboard and put his head through it and is terrifying a small dog. That dog looks stupid.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

B is for Belle, Jennifer, Animal Stackers

Animal Stackers by Jennifer Belle
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As reviewed by Drunken Hobo Chet


Whosa what now with this book? I’m flim flamed to wonder what was the though process behind making a book so full of nothin’, yet chock full of the jibba jabba. Let me tell ya what I’m talking about:

This book’s all messed up. See, what happened was the author and the illustrator went the Marvel approach with this, it seems to me, but don’t worry about that cause I’m a simple hobo. The rails are my lady and my lady is fine. What I mean to say is that they came up with this alphabet, and instead of thinking “Hey, there’s a song about that, why not leave it at that?” they decided to get those letters, you know the one’s... There’s “A”, then “B”, and so on going all’s the way to “Y”.

I hear ya, “What about ‘Z’?” you yell into the cold night, the lonely night where the alphabet has no meaning. It should end in “Y” cause that’s the only question worth asking. But this book don’t. It ends in “Z” so all that don’t mean nothing.

Any whoozle, these people took the grand tradition of the alphabet and they made a picture book slash poem book out of it. At least that was the grand design. The whole thing works like a the way the old comic books used to do, the Marvel way. See this lady took the alphabetical order and she thought of all the words that could go along with that. Then she takes the letter of that word for that letter, and then she throws other words at that one to make some macka packa whatsa doodle that I guess passes for poetry. The picture guy, he takes them words and makes them a picture. While a picture is often one thousand words, these are around ten to twenty, if you take my meaning. That don’t make the pictures bad, just all nonsensical and gobbledy gook.

They all like that, all crazy like a dog that ate the chili on Sunday in church, ‘cept once or twice there’s some subterfuge a happ’nin. Fer example:

"Down in Chinatown
Roaring at all who pass,
And accidentally passing
Gas as flames shoot
Out of her
Nostrils."

That’s verbatim word for word DRAGON poetry, but if you look, you can see the devil in them DRAGON words. No Bilbo Baggins trickery here, just a subtle nod for you and yours to think the word “ass.” And that ain’t right. But the dragon's drawn all scary, so that's nice.

Got some windows you need washing? I’ll work for some nice apple pie!

Thanks, Chet!
Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

A is for Allard: 100 Books, The Stupids Have a Ball #atozchallenge

The Stupids Have a Ball by Harry G. Allard
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The Stupids Have a Ball by Harry Allard and James Marshall, as reinterpreted by Betty Lou from Circulation

Beware, Thar be... you know what? Forget it. Onward!

The book begins with a scathing indictment of the national education system as well as parenting as both children seem to be doing poorly yet their lack of effort is praised. They are even rewarded for their ineptitude with a costume ball, the preparation and execution therein complete the narrative.

The authors make a point to show how the tactics of the rich and moronic upper class force the lower class, in this case a cat and dog, prepare balloons, punch and invitations. The upper class, i.e. “Parents”, only include themselves in the final activity and have difficulty doing even that, mocking the upper class’s inablility to do even simple tasks.

As we near the party, we are exposed to even more extremes the rich and idle go through to waste their moneys. Costumes such as “George Washing Machine,” a bastardization of our nation's noble leader, show the depths to which the upper class reach to shame our great nation. Other costumes are clearly metaphors for how the rich and poor should interact, including Ma as “spaghetti” being all wrapped up in herself and the dog as “The Bone Ranger,” a call for the unwashed masses to take back what they can through vigilante means if they must to reach a state of justice.

As the guests arrive, you can see the extent the authors feel they need to go to chastise the rich and powerful. One guest arrives on a duck, which we all know as the Celtic symbol for transition, signifying a change in status quo is approaching.

A sad moment comes halfway through the book as Grandfather Stupid arrives down a chimney dressed as the Easter Bunny. Oh, this painful scene forces the reader to confront the idea that not only will we age and die, but we will collapse into the gaping maw of Alzheimer’s if our nation’s healthcare does not improve.
The final scene comes as a crushing blow not only to the reader but to society as a whole when we learn that, despite everyone wearing costumes, none but the Stupids themselves were aware this was a costume ball. By forcing us to look back into ourselves, this revelation begs the question, “Are we all at a costume ball where no one wore a costume?” Think on that, dear reader.

I can only recommend The Stupids Have a Ball to the most studied among us. True, juveniles may find the embellishments humorous, but true scholars will find so much more beneath the surface.

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

Check out my 100 Book Challenge under the Book Reviews tab.

Books For Morons: Review

Books for Morons by Banned Library Books

5 out of 5 on the Awesome Meter of Awesomeness (*****)

Yet another wonderful entry in the "For Morons" series, Books for Morons is half tell-all, half instruction into the seedy world of "books" and "reading".  Full page pictures show how to choose a book, get the book home, and then enjoy reading the book.

Pop-up pages are sure to delight as they spring from the page, often accompanied by a sound of pages turning.  New "scent producers" sewn into every page allow you to choose a variety of reading environments, such as subway, bus and library, to prepare you for the diverse areas one may enjoy a "book."

I must stress that despite containing full color illustrations and audio/video capabilities, this helpful tome is not for the young.  Anyone under the age of 18 should be supervised due to the ideas contained withing these "pages."  As Books for Morons will tell you, books can lead to creativity, ideas, and learning, activities that can be harmful to some.