Killing Mr. Griffin, Chapter 1: Meet the Duckling #evanreviews

Meet Duckling, the sad girl with a heart of gold. Will we find out how this zero becomes a hero or learn the true story of Weekend at Bernies?  Find out in the first chapter of Killing Mr. Griffin.

******BEWARE THAR BE SPOILERS********

Summary
Susan Lee Duckling walks across a windy parking lot, blocking the glasses that hide her inner beauty so they don't get scratched.  Then we get a flashback to breakfast where Duckling tells her parents and family that she's gonna get out of this town, see, and make something of herself, that's the ticket.  They make fun of her.  

Back to the parking lot, David El Guapo looses his important assignment and is unable to catch the papers.  The two of them talk about dum dum dum Mr. Griffin as they walk indoors and run into Beebop and Rocksteady.  El Guapo goes off with his minions as Duckling lements her impression on El Guapo because that's what lonely girls do.

Every body arrives in class and takes their seats.  Everyone has friends to talk to but poor Duckling.  Duckling takes the time to judge everyone around her, especially Cordelia the Popular.  In walks dum dum dum Mr. Griffin and class begins.

Beebop, El Guapo and Cordelia all give reasons as to why they do not have the homework assignment.  scary noise Mr. Griffin gives reasons as to why he does not give a shit.  Duckling reads over her poem, an interesting bit of verse, before handing it in.  Beebop freaks out because meany pants teacher is being unfair about failing the kids that did not do their work.  Rocksteady attempts to calm Beebop, but he's all mad and not gonna take it.  dum dum dum Bad Teacher lets it slip that he failed Rocksteady, then pops a pill and tells them to open their books.

Duckling watches the windy parking lot as a bird smashes into the window and dies.  Beebop quietly says he would like to kill Prof. Crabbybritches.

Observations
1.  I know kids are dumb, but why in the world would you carry an important paper around in loose leaf on a very windy day?
2.  Is no one allowed to leave this town?  Or dream about leaving the town?  When I was in high school and said I wanted to move out, my parents were like "Where to and how soon?"  On second thought that may say more about me than Duckling.
3.  The class assignment was to write Ophelia's last words before she commits suicide.  That's not hard, just write "my boyfriends crazy and he killed my dad" and then figure out the onomoniopiea for the sound of your finger wiggling in front of your mouth.
4.  Am I to get it right that in small town whereever there are schools that place academics above athletics.  With all the wind outside, I would not be surprised if this was Oz High and Oompa Loompas were the cafeteria workers.



Thank you, this has been today's Evan Reviews. Feel free to comment.


Next Chapter

100 Books: Golden Compass by Philip Pullman

The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

*BEWARE THAR BE SPOILERS*

Children are being grabbed across London and the only one that can stop the kidnapping is a little girl and her shape-shifting, talking daemon. With a talking bear and a tribe of Gyptians as companions, Lyra races across the landscape to confront the evil Mrs. Coulter and her Gobblers as well as rescue her father from the other talking bears.  There's a golden compass somewhere in there too, but don't worry about it cause none of the characters do either.


The setting of our story is other dimension London/Frozen North. The Church rules everything with an iron fist, allowing for plausible deniability with every turn. Steampunk rules the landscape, with everything running off of gas or candle power. Oh, did I mention everyone wears their soul on the outside in the form of a random animal and their are talking bears? This is a little jarring as the semi-modern location and steampunk feel of the atmosphere do not lend to a fantasy... yet talking animals abound. Yeah, let’s meet the people.

First up is Lyra, the main character. As a precocious little girl raised by Scholars (think monks), Lyra is a bit of a wild child prone to mouthing off and getting into trouble. And that’s what she does most of the time when she is not sleeping.

Then we have our main villains, Mrs. Coulter and the Gobblers. In charge of snatching children from the streets, these people are nice and calm on the outside but are capable of a cold and merciless type of violence that makes for terrifying fridge logic thoughts (the ones that occur after you are done reading/viewing and come to you as you are getting a snack from the fridge).

Armored bears are also in this book, but think of them as as dwarves mashed with Klingons, a proud warrior race that is good with metal and really cares about honor.

The characters as a whole are more defined than I give them credit for, but for the most part are lazy. The story is driven almost exclusively by the actions of the villains with (with the exception of one or two scenes) our heroes being reactive. I cannot count how many times I wondered if Lyra falling asleep was a catalyst for change in this story. If she were Sleeping Beauty these folks might have build a space shuttle by the time she woke up.

The central theme in this story seems to be about innocence and experience. Lyra, our innocent child, is introduced to several very horrifying truths throughout the tale, including being betrayed by those she should trust the most and getting help by those set up as villains early on. These lessons are well thought out and acted, albeit in a very dry and talkative manner.

The author does seem to have several reasons to write this story, but none of the themes I came away with are important enough to continue the series. The most prominent seems to be to create a world that shows the evils of religion and power as well as how bad it is to go against one’s nature. I half expected the villain to be the Pope with a giant bat as his daemon.

As a novel, the writing is not impressive. The descriptions and language are well used, but there are many flaws in the narrative. Much of the story is filler with either one character relating previous events or Lyra reflecting on what has happened to her. The action, with two great exceptions, is poor at best giving us either a “too close” perspective like that of the Matt Damon Bourne movies or happens just off screen with yet another character telling the reader what happened.

Why was it banned?
The book was banned mainly for religious reasons. The author, a devout atheist (can you be devout... whatever), threw in a lot of re-imaginings of biblical texts to fit in with his world. I would have loved to have heard his view on Noah, what with two of everything and then the people and their daemon’s drowning outside the boat. He also does not paint the Church (religion as a whole, but mostly Christian) in a good light as it appears being excommunicated is paramount to being shot into the sun. This backwards view of society via the books steampunkian way-back machine could easily be seen as an attack on religion and a “poisoning of young minds” with horrible thoughts of independent thinking and the horrors of power going amok. And if ideas alone were not enough to get the book banned, there is some pretty graphic violence, including a scene where one character gets half his face ripped off by another and a scene where Lyra gets attacked that left me more than disturbed.

My final opinion on the book is shaky at best. I had more to complain about than praise and felt that reading this book was more of a chore than a pleasure. There are friends I would recommend this to, but none that I would like to talk about it with. I doubt I will ever finish this series, or even continue it, even though there is a cliffhanger at the end. I would recommend this to kids and adults who liked Harry Potter but thought those books had too many interesting things in it.

View all my reviews

100 Books, Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Some books are that good. They are parodied, recycled, passed over, and come back again with a resonance in the world of storytelling that few ever equal. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck is a masterwork of literature with its themes of love, regret, friendship, honor and the knowledge that all things in this world pass. If you have never read this book then I cannot call you a true lover of literature.

Summary
George and Lennie are migrant farmhands, traveling the barren world with little to call their own. George, the small and intelligent one, has secured them work at a farm where they can begin to collect wages that will someday allow them to buy their own place. Lennie, the large and childlike one, dreams of having their own place where they will "live off of the fat of the lan'" and where he will get to tend the rabbits.
The two find comfort in the farm with Lennie proving his exceptional physical labor skills and a new partner in their endevor, Candy. Daily life in the worker's clubhouse is shown, especially in one scene where the men convince Candy to kill his beloved, elderly dog.
The comfort is short, however, when the hot headed owner's son, Curley, picks a fight with Lennie and ends up with Lennie crushing Curley's hand. Another form of trouble comes in the form of Curley's wife who feels she is too good for the life she has chosen and often hangs too close to the workers.
The climax comes when Lennie accidentally kills Curley's wife and George, knowing Curley will kill his friend, has to end Lennie's life.

The Good
What can I say that has not been said about this book? The characters, plot, dialog, setting, language, etc. are all perfectly balanced to tell a simple story about the desperation of man.

The Bad
The only bad aspect of this novel is its simplicity. This is not a detriment to the story, but to everyone who must see the plot and characters parodied for all eternity.

Why is it banned?
Of Mice and Men could be banned for a few reasons. The language is often both racist and misogynistic towards Crooks, the elderly black man in the story, and Curley's wife respectively.
The violence, while not gratuitous, could also be a reason, as the story depicts a dog being shot, a woman being murdered, and a man being executed with a shot to the head. The scene where the men encourage Candy to put the dog down could be seen as inciting violence toward animals, particularly elderly ones. Combined with the misogyny of the earlier language, the murder of Curley's wife could also be seen as an attack on women as well.
Some may be disappointed with the depiction of Lennie as a mentally disabled person, as well. While his childlike attitude is forgivable, the violence he exhibits is not and may lead some to the wrong conclusions.

View all my reviews

100 Books: The Adventures of Captain Underpants

The Adventures of Captain Underpants by Dav Pilkey

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Summary
Two boys hypnotise their principal into becoming the hero of their self-published comic book, Captain Underpants. The three of them then go on to defeat Dr. Diaper and his robotic henchmen. Seriously.

The Good
The story is simple and the writing is crisp. The plot moves along at a quick, however painful, pace and the accompanied art fits the pulp style to a tee. The book is great fun, especially if you are willing to lift your suspension of disbelief and become the 7 year old this book is targeted to.

The Bad
 The characters are pretty dull. Yeah, they play pranks and get away with mischief but never in an organic way. Things seem pretty slapdash as one event just happens with little effort to explain or even make sense of the world it attempts to create. There is little in the way of lessons or morals that while never a problem in stories, causes this pulp to be little more than filler for more well-told comic adventures.

Why is it banned?
The use of a grown man in his underwear is enough to ban this juvenile book. However, the depiction of both the over powering, child hating authority figure and the boys glee in subverting him could also cause the material to be banned by a more "moral" centered community. The boys pranks could also be seen as a bannable offence as they could encourage children to do them to disasterous results. Also, there's a poo gag.

View all my reviews

100 Books: Friday Night Lights

Friday Night Lights: A Town, a Team, and a Dream by H.G. Bissinger

My rating: 3 of 5 stars




Summary
Friday Night Lights is the study of a town in the thrall of high school football. The players, parents, coaches, teachers all get a story component while the economic and racial pain looms in the background.

Is it good?
Well, yes and no. This is a well crafted book that is given to great tension and flowery language but can also shift gears to chapters of dry commentary and history. When comparing the game descriptions to the exposition about Texas oil, one can see the clear distinction in writing styles. When the book is good, talking about the people that play the game and the controversey's around them, the book is very good. When the book goes off topic into the economic turmoil of the region (a topic that does inform the story) it falls flat. I can see teenagers skipping large parts of this book to "get to the good stuff." I almost did it myself. Special mention to the author's technique of spilling people into the narrative. When it works, such as the former players in the last game, it gives a tension and gravity to the story. When it does not, such as when it gives backstory to people not involved with the program at all (fans) during the last game, it pulls you from the story and creates quagmires to slog through.

Why Was It Banned?
The language (especially the racially motivated speech) is unfiltered by these West Texas folk. The teenagers speak like teenagers and the racists speak like racists. Multiple quotes are more than enough to see why this book was objected to being taught in the classroom or included in a high school library.
Some themes may also be seen as objectionable, particularly the racism. While the book makes its position clear on the wrongness of judging a man by his cover, impressionalbe minds could turn a blind eye to the opposing arguments. Some parents may also be unwilling to let their progeny know of the good and bad sides of being a local celebrity. The passages of players running wild and getting off with little more than a slap on the wrist could be encouraging to some like-minded individuals. Conversly, I could see how the failures of these kids could lead to some students giving up both on and off the field.

Conclusion
A good book with a multitude of dry pages. Skates the line between a book a high school football player would finish and a book a high school nerd would read to take the piss out of their jock counterparts. As I said above, had I not been reviewing it, I would have skipped several parts of this book.

View all my reviews

Book Review: Ghost Story by Jim Butcher

Ghost Story by Jim Butcher

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Caution: I may spoil major events of the book and the book series as a whole. This is book 13 of the series, I strongly advise reading the rest of the series before you read this book. Okay... here we go.

Summary:
Harry Dresden is back from the dead after being shot through the chest at the end of Book 12: Changes. He, along with the ectomancer Mortimer and various other friends, must solve his murder and stop a dark power that is rising in Chicago.

What I Liked:
It's a Dresden Files book. That means it includes the action, charm and snark (BOO!) that comes with every Harry Dresden adventure. Reading this series is a delight as each book returns the reader to a world that has evolved from page one. Each character, faction and landscape has been altered by the adventures in organic and wholly real ways. As each book pounded our heroes, some grew stronger and some broke.
My favorite part about Mr. Butcher's writing is the characters (and the cultural references, but can I claim that as his?) Each person in these books is laid out in great detail and it has been fun watching them change from book to book. Special reservation goes to Molly, Murphy and Mortimer for the dramatic shifts each has made from their first appearances.

What I Didn't Like:
The villians. The Corpsetaker from "Dead Beat" (one of my favorite of the series) has returned in ghostly form to once again grow in power and become a real Corpsetaker again. Or something. On the other side of things is some douche sorcerer with a gang. Both felt really tacked on in this one, almost slowing down the story. The Corpsetaker serves as a good enough ghostly villian while the doucherer is low level for our mighty group of dudes who have toppled whole vampire courts. I know this is suppposed to be a more personal story, but the absence of a real good villian hurt the story.

What I Eh?
The end. In a story where the main premise is the guy coming back from the dead to solve his own murder, I feel kinda cheated that it was him all along with a little brain wipe. This kind of twist is a little beneath the Dresden Files, especially with the unreliable narrator being pulled just two books back in "Turn Coat" when Harry did something else without letting the reader know. I could buy it if we were given a bookend as a reason for the narration (and therefore why some stuff is left out,) but the reader is just supposed to accept these books as his case file notes? How incomplete to not mention that, oh yeah, you were the person who put a hit out on you? The ending also included a "look at your past life" montage of chapters that while engaging (especially the bit with Mouse and his daughter) also felt a little tacked on.
The new character. Fixt (who we will see again about two books from now, I bet, if not sooner) is a bland, young copy of Dresden who will probably become either one of the Alphas or Morty's apprentice.

View all my reviews

100 Books: In the Night Kitchen

In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

In the Night Kitchen is the story of a little boy who dreams of some pretty horrific stuff. A child of the 60s-70s psychedelic acid rock craze, this children's book reminds me an awful lot of the creepy Raggedy Anne and Andy movie that came out a few years later.

Summary (spoilers)

Okay, stay with me here cause I am gonna run through this. A kid hears a noise in the night which leads him to falling into darkness. He falls into some batter and three cooks then decide to bake him into a cake. He makes a plane out of the batter and promises to get them milk for the batter instead of him. He does so, prompting an odd "milk in the batter" sequence before the kid wakes up and finds there is cake in the morning.


Why Banned?

Did I mention he does most of this nude? On at least three separate occasions you get a full monty shot of this kid's junk. This horrifying issue of baking children into cakes is brought up as well and is done so with pretty straight forward intent. If you want to go out on a limb, you could tie the nudity and the milk to get a symbolic wet dream scenario, but honestly that is kinda gross and I do not want to think too hard on the subject of this kid's junk. Also, there are probably some parents that will object to the giant red "Cock a Doodle Doo" written at one point in the book.


Final

In the Night Kitchen is a fun acid trip of a story, and that is okay because it is all played as a dream sequence. While some symbolism is there if you really try, this story is a fairly simple tale that will delight most readers. However, the odd addition of nudity may turn some folks off, as stylized as the art is. I would not have a problem showing this to my kid, but be careful showing it to anyone else's, if you know what I mean.


View all my reviews