What would happen if Quentin Tarantino took a blow to the head and started writing John Hughes-esque teen ficiton? This book, that’s what. Welcome back to Evan Reviews for Chapter 5 of Killing Mr. Griffin.
When we last left off, The Killing Club of El Guapo, Duckling, Cordelia, Rocksteady and Beebop were putting their plan to kidnap Snape into action. Did you wonder what was happening in Snape’s world, though? Me neither.******BEWARE THAR BE SPOILERS********
Summary
Mrs. Snape wakes up to find her husband in the shower. We learn that she is a country girl, has little to no formal education, can probably sing ever line of "Stand By Your Man", and is more pregnant than a bunny in springtime.
We also learn that Cityboy Snape is a closed off and quiet man who left his job at university to go into public school to teach the dark art of English. Countrygirl Snape flashes back to her husband talking about giving the kids of America the "tough love" approach. Snape understands that he comes off as a horrible person but thinks that he knows what is the right way to teach young people, namely beat them over the head with learnin' till their noses bleed.
Back in the present, Snape comes in to breakfast and tells Countrygirl that he needs his plot device pills and that he will be late because of plot reasons (ironic Killing Club plan is a GO!). He also tells her that he thinks Duckling is a great writer but will not tell Duckling that because he is a dick. He does claim that he will love his own child, though.
Countrygirl then tells him to tell Duckling she is good and pat her on the head. This angers Snape and he leaves in a huff. Countrygirl feels a cry coming on and blames it on preggo hormones and not this jerk who just dismissed her. Then... Countrygirl gets a terrrrrriblllle feeeeellllllinggg and and almost calls him back. Then he does come back and wishes her a cold "love you" goodbye. Then she gives herself the "he'll be different when the baby comes, he'll be like that teacher in Mr. Holland's Opus" pep talk and we fade to ominous black.
Observations
1. Why the hell would a tenured professor at university level leave to teach high school? Especially one as socially devoid as Snape? His reasons are shotty at best, as "molding young minds" seems pretty crappy to someone as cold as this man is with students.
Mrs. Snape wakes up to find her husband in the shower. We learn that she is a country girl, has little to no formal education, can probably sing ever line of "Stand By Your Man", and is more pregnant than a bunny in springtime.
We also learn that Cityboy Snape is a closed off and quiet man who left his job at university to go into public school to teach the dark art of English. Countrygirl Snape flashes back to her husband talking about giving the kids of America the "tough love" approach. Snape understands that he comes off as a horrible person but thinks that he knows what is the right way to teach young people, namely beat them over the head with learnin' till their noses bleed.
Back in the present, Snape comes in to breakfast and tells Countrygirl that he needs his plot device pills and that he will be late because of plot reasons (ironic Killing Club plan is a GO!). He also tells her that he thinks Duckling is a great writer but will not tell Duckling that because he is a dick. He does claim that he will love his own child, though.
Countrygirl then tells him to tell Duckling she is good and pat her on the head. This angers Snape and he leaves in a huff. Countrygirl feels a cry coming on and blames it on preggo hormones and not this jerk who just dismissed her. Then... Countrygirl gets a terrrrrriblllle feeeeellllllinggg and and almost calls him back. Then he does come back and wishes her a cold "love you" goodbye. Then she gives herself the "he'll be different when the baby comes, he'll be like that teacher in Mr. Holland's Opus" pep talk and we fade to ominous black.
Observations
1. Why the hell would a tenured professor at university level leave to teach high school? Especially one as socially devoid as Snape? His reasons are shotty at best, as "molding young minds" seems pretty crappy to someone as cold as this man is with students.
2. Who the hell taught this guy? His reason for not telling Duckling she is a good writer: it would make her happy and maybe give her confidence. Wouldn't that suck?
3. Snape mentioned Google. I just realized that I am reading an updated reprint of this book. Now I get the jarring feel when cellphones and other things are put in the story. Most of the writing is from the original 1978 text, and it feels like it. Had I known this was the case with the copy I got, I would have protested, but I'll deal. Updating texts with modern terms is a topic for another day, but this is really jarring and not serviceable to the story.
4. Snape will love his own child... YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO, YOU DUMMY.
5. Snape reflects back on Chapter 1 when El Guapo's paper was blown away by the wind. I have to admit his thoughts about putting it in a notebook were my own. Damn, hoisted by my own snark.
6. Did Countrygirl Snape really need to a) have a premonition that something bad was going to happen and b) have characteristics of a co-dependent battered wife? Did Snape himself have to be such a jerk at home that you almost wait in breathless abandon for him to live up to the title? Just because someone is loved, does not mean they deserve it and it does not make them a better character to have character witnesses that suffer under their emotional abuse. This chapter seemed as clusmy to me as the inserts of modern tech, slapped in as a response that we did not get enough characterization of the big bad teacher.
Thank you, this has been today's #evanreviews Feel free to comment.
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