Add Momma To the Train: Porno Review #atozchallenge

The opposite of this,
but less boobs

Add Momma to the Train starring Bruno West, White Mama Church and introducing Dr. Don Slapalot.

3 1/3 out of 5 Thumbs All Up In (***1/3)

****Beware, Thar Be Spoilers****

Summary
Bruno West stars as Mike Hardbone, professional architect and librarian.  Everything is going Mike's way until a chance meeting with a beautiful stranger, White Mama Jones played by White Mama Church, throws his world upside down.  Jones suggests they take a trip north on a train, and they ride the hell out of that train.  At the same time, there's a doctor having sex in a Winnebago.

There are pieces of art, then there are ways to put the audience in the lap of the actors and watch them live and breathe.  Watching Add Momma To the Train, the audience believes they are a part of the train with every shake, twist and gyration.  From the cabins decorated with historical accuracy to the people coming in and out of every shot, the world is made complete.  Only great direction and casting can make such a tour de force push the audience to such climaxes.

The characters form a narrative that if not taken from Shakespeare, should cause The Bard himself to bow his head in subjugation.  From the rich and flowing dialog to the subtle pauses in action, each actor gives it his all to the actress or actresses in every scene.  The transformations in movement as the story progresses rivals the best love stories of all time, kicking the shit out of Romeo and Juliet.

This leads us to the plot.  Oh, sweet sunny Superman, the plot moves as a ballet dancer moves along a tight rope, should that ballerina be a gymnast that really likes ropes.  Just as the story feels like it is going off the rails, something gets railed but good, and twists and turns to land directly where it should be.  Back to front, up to down, left to left to right to left, this goes beyond a character study and becomes an audience study, turning the meta aspect into a deeper penetration of the human soul.  

Only one thing can give pause during every tantalizing moment of this journey.  The fact that this is only a movie, and a pornographic one at that, drops this film down in rating.  Like Icarus flying too close to the sun, this film reaches the depths of the Uncanny Valley and does not pull itself out again.  This film is too close to real life and therefore can not save itself from its own inadequacy of perfection.

Why was it banned?

It's a porn.  There's sex and naked people.  More than the whole of all of Judy Blume's writings combined. Some may also question the religious and evolution inquiries various actresses ask during climactic parts, including dialog such as "Oh, God, yes, my monkey man, do me like that.  Yes. Yes."  Such items may ask questions that parents are not ready to discuss with their children.

Explanation: Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) I will blog using the alphabet as my guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.

P.S. April Fool's. Have a great day!