Friday, April 13, 2012

L is for Lyon, George Ella “Trucks Roll!”


Trucks Roll! by George Ella Lyon
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As read by Frank “Five Fists” Fingerman, Long Haul Trucker

I read this book to my daughter before going out for another haul and just found it a delightful read. My little Baby Fist, that’s her handle “Baby Fist,” she thought I was just the coolest person in the whole world after reading this book about what her daddy does, but what the hell does she know, she’s six, right? This colorful book of lies does to trucking what Lord of the Rings did to hiking. Yeah, it’s cool and all, but that just ain’t the way it goes.

The following are factual inaccuracies I found in “Trucks Roll!”

- While trucks do have trailers and cabs, but it is very dangerous the way they show them truckers transporting rabbits and labs. You just can’t have a labrador hanging out the back of your trailer, people.
- I don’t know what kind of school these people went to, but you just can’t have a giant spout hooked to a giant bathtub filled with giant apples trolling down the highway. Just ain’t safe.
- The twisty road they depict does not have any type of sand trap to slow down a runaway haul.
- Even if you could bake a cookie large enough to drive on a covered wagon, those things would just be unsanitary to have in the open air like that.
- I’m not even going to go into how that puzzle would stay together like that in the box.
- Air horns don’t go “beep” no matter how deep they are. I always thought it was more of a “honk.” That may be a personal choice.
- While we may stop at gas stations, we use diesel. Gasoline just ain’t good in the rig.
- I don’t want to give anyone the illusion that truckers drive “rolling dreams.” I’ve always thought of rigs as “fart boxes.”

Thanks, Five Fists!

Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.